Lost and Found
by justjamie139
Summary: Elena muses over her past with Stefan and her possible future with Damon. What will she decide? TWO-SHOT
1. Quiet Musings

**A/N: **Well, I'm actually uploading another story. Amazing right?

Just a few quick notes before you start. There isn't really a specific time for this to take place. Some time in the near future when Klaus is gone and everything seems to settle down a bit. I'm purposefully being vague when talking about how things ended with Klaus. Mostly because I just don't want to get into it. It's not really pertinent to the story. Also, Elena is writing in her diary for this first chapter, but what I wrote isn't exactly what she's writing. It's more like her thought process as she's writing. Same gist, but subtle differences. I mostly did that because I prefer writing in 3rd person, and I don't like reading diary entry styled stories, most of the time. :/

This was loosely inspired by the song "Sober" by Kelly Clarkson, although the idea sort of ran away and morphed into something completely different. Stories tend to have a mind of their own that way. :) Title taken from the song "Lost and Found" by Katie Herzig. Both are amazing songs and worth listening to (I would suggest listening to Sober for the first chapter and Lost and Found for the second. Just my opinion.)

So that's the end of that. Please, enjoy. :)

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><p><strong><span>Chapter 1: Quiet Musings<span>**

It had been a quiet couple of weeks. A virtual miracle here in Mystic Falls, but there it was. Klaus was gone–not dead, unfortunately. Stefan was MIA as well. According to Damon, he was getting some "much needed alone time" with his humanity.

She, on the other hand, thought it had more to do with the fact that after everything was over, she didn't go running back into his arms immediately. There were no tearful, heartfelt confessions or 'I-love-you's. Things did not end up okay. Not really, anyway.

When she had begun her search for Stefan at the beginning of the summer, she was sure that no matter what happened, no matter who he was when she found him that they would still be a 'they.' It was only recently that she had started rethinking that.

She had fought, kicking and screaming the entire way. She had fought to find him, fought to get him back, fought to get him to feel, and then, at the end of it all, just fought _him_. It was a scenario she had never imagined for them. All of her love, all of _his_ love, turned into this bitter, hated thing. Darkness had consumed them, chewed them up, and spit them back out as two different people.

Looking back, she didn't know when she went from loving and needing him, to despising and avoiding him. Probably around the time he betrayed her to save Klaus (even if she could understand the reason why.) Or possibly when he seemed to stop caring what happened to her or her loved ones. Maybe before all of that; she didn't know. All that mattered was that this was who they were now.

It had been hard telling that to Stefan. Hard for him to hear and harder for him to believe. But it was the truth. After everything that had happened, she couldn't bring herself to forgive him, let alone let him back into her heart. And maybe he didn't belong there.

Looking back on their relationship, there had been so many lies, from the both of them, that she wondered if they were doomed to fall apart anyway? Although he had told her some of his past, had given her some part of his vampire-self, there was still so much she hadn't known. So much he had done. And it sometimes angered her, when she was alone and content on thinking herself into oblivion, like now, that he lied to her just to "protect" her from the truth. "Protect" her from his past, his self. Some good that did, seeing as how much more it hurt her in the end.

Well, if she was going to place blame, some of it needed to be placed on her too. She had encouraged it really, Stefan lying to her. She had always encouraged the human side of him to be the only one that showed. It had been just so easy to forget sometimes, what he was. It was like she could pretend they were normal. But they weren't. He was a vampire, doomed to forever be the hunter; she was a doppelganger, doomed to forever be the hunted.

That wasn't her only lie though, not her only fault in this.

_Damon_, she thought.

Yes, Damon. Sitting on her windowsill, diary in hand, she shook her head at the thought of him. How could she have been so stupid? So blind? In retrospect, it was obvious to her now. The signs were all there. But being with Stefan, she had studiously ignored them, refused them, and discounted them. She was not Katherine. She would not be Katherine.

Maybe that was it. Why all this time she's been fighting her feelings for him. To go from one brother to the other, it was too much like Katherine. To toy with both brothers–her greatest fear, and truthfully, her greatest fault. Because really, even when she was with Stefan, faithfully devoted to him, was she not somewhat toying with Damon? Not pursuing him of course, God no, but she had become too used to him doing anything for her, wanting to help her, that she had become dependent on it. Possibly even used his feelings for her against him, although not intentionally.

And the entire time there was Stefan, who saw, though reluctantly, what she refused to see. Maybe he had convinced himself that when she told him that she only loved him, that she was telling the truth. She had thought she was too, then.

But she knew now, at least, what the truth was.

She loved Damon Salvatore.

_Wow,_ she thought. _I'm in love with Damon. I _love_ Damon._

It was a scary thought to think, and an even harder one to write, but it was the truth. Admitting it to herself was the hardest part though.

_Old habits die hard, I guess._

He was caring, when he wanted to be, cruel, when he was hurting, fiercely protective of everything he cared about in life, and willing to give it all up for her. He loved her with every single cell in his body; every particle of his being sang with the energy of it. And that scared her.

After everything that had happened since she met Stefan, all of the pain, fear, loss, and regret she had experienced, she couldn't get over the thought that _she wasn't allowed to be happy_. It was some fluke, some major screw up that someone would swoop down and fix right as she began to let herself enjoy it.

Because after being with Stefan, loving him with her whole heart, and having it break into a million pieces… Well, she couldn't imagine what Damon would be able to do if she let herself love him like he loved her. It would be so much _more_ than what she and Stefan ever were, she saw that. Damon was simply intense, in and of himself. Loving him would be a million times more intense than he as a person ever could be. And being loved like that, and loving in return like that… Well, that just made it a hell of a lot easier for someone to break you. After everything that had happened, she didn't know how much more she could take. She didn't think she'd survive it.

But surviving without him? That seemed like the more painful option. And she knew it would happen too, if she kept on going like she had been with him. There was no Stefan keeping them apart now. He had no more guilt in "stealing his brother's girl." She was no longer his brother's. And she didn't think he would be able to stay, to see her choose to be with no one rather than be with him. He had barely survived watching her be with Stefan, and had definitely not come through unscathed. She doubted he would hang around to watch her not choose him, for as long as she lived.

So there were her options. Be with him, or live without him. The first one scared her, beyond belief, but the latter? Well just the thought of it had her heart pounding, tears coming to her eyes. She couldn't do that. And really, when had she become the girl who didn't put herself out there for fear of getting hurt? Since when did she run away from her feelings?

_Really? When have you NOT run away from your feelings?_

Well, now the voice inside her head was just being annoying, not helpful at all. Sighing, Elena finished writing the last line of her entry and signed her name. There really was nothing more to put. She had figured out her problem, wrote it all out, and now knew what she was going to do.

The only thing to do now was to figure out _how_.

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><p><strong>AN:** There you have it. So what does Elena do, you ask? Well, you'll have to wait for the next chapter. :) This will just be a two-shot, and the final chapter will be up in the next few days. You won't have long to wait.

I'd love it if you left me some feedback. Did I portray Elena well? What about her and Stefan's relationship? Her and Damon's? I would like to know, because I always worry that I write OOC characters. So yeah, a review would be awesome. And if you're a Stelena fan, please tell me what you think of my portrayal of their relationship. I'd love to know how you see it. :)

Best wishes!

~Jamie


	2. Say It Again

**A/N:** So here's the final chapter. I know I said I'd have it up in a few days, but life sort of got away with me. We had our Science Olympiad invitational over the weekend (congrats Molly, for all your medals! :D) so it sort of took up ALL of my time. It was crazy and ... yeah ... *refuses to list more excuses that you don't even care about*

I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed/alerted/favorited. You don't know how much it meant to me (and encouraged me to write) so thank you! C:

I'll say, once again, that the title of the story is taken from the song Lost and Found, by Katie Herzig, and it's worth a listen (especially for this chapter.)

As a last note, anyone who can catch the Harry Potter quote wins a hypothetical cookie! :D

So yeah, enjoy! :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Say It Again<strong>

Frozen. Her hand was frozen. Elena had been standing in front of the Boarding House's entrance for at least five minutes, but she _couldn't move_.

Before at her house, it had taken a 30 minute battle of pacing, inaudible mutterings, and much frustrated hair pulling to get her to move. She had finally built up enough courage to climb into her car and drive here. She just couldn't move past the entrance.

_Sure Elena. Unkillable hybrid? No problem. Psycho ex-boyfriend? A walk in the park. Admitting your feelings to said ex-boyfriend's brother? … You're scared out of your wits._

_Buck up Gilbert!_ she told herself. Gathering courage she didn't know she had, she raised her hand once again to knock. Before her first even touched the wood, however, the door swung open to reveal the formerly mentioned panic attack waiting to happen. His smirking, easygoing manner was almost insulting.

"Well, dear Elena, what brings you to my humble abode?" His eyes danced in their characteristic, heart-stopping manner. She was a goner.

"Am I not allowed to see you anymore or something?" she asked, too defensive. She was being ridiculous, and she saw his surprise at her snappy manner, but after a moment the expression was wiped from his face.

"Usually you just come in like you own the place, not stand on the porch for five minutes. I _assumed_ you had a reason."

His smirk was well in place, and she considered reminding him that she did, in fact, actually own the place, but decided against it. Guarded, his eyes showed his trepidation at her odd behavior. They looked almost weary. She hadn't seen him for three days, since her lovely talk with Stefan, except for a brief phone call to inform her of Stefan's departure.

"I…" her pause was deafening in its silence, "I just wanted to see you," she finally said quietly. It was enough of the truth to convince him not to question her, at least. Still, he was curious, she knew. Stepping aside, he let her pass.

Was she the only one who felt the energy of this place? The house acted as if alive, now humming with the anticipation of what she planned. She felt as if crackling sparks of electricity were running through the air.

_Damn her nerves_, she thought. _It shouldn't _be _this hard!_

"Alright Elena, I'll bite," he said, seemingly fed up with her loaded silence. "What's got you so riled up?"

Taking a deep breath, she turned around to face him. At her house, she had planned a whole speech, down to every syllable, about how he was amazing and good and everything she ever wanted. It all flew out the window with one look into his eyes. Did he always look at her like that? It wasn't possible to have such a powerful stare and still assume an air of nonchalance at the same time.

"I…" her mouth wasn't working properly, it seemed. She took a deep breath and tried again.

"I haven't been completely honest with you," she said hurriedly.

_Where did that come from?_ Well, she didn't know, but she'd roll with it.

"About what, might I ask?" She seemed to be confusing him more with every syllable uttered. Now, though, accompanying his confusions was suspicion.

_If only you knew_, she thought.

So she began, the words flying from her mouth without thought or any sort of control. "I've never been honest, with you or myself. All this time I've been so stupid Damon! But I didn't have a choice before really. How else could it have happened?" Her words sped up as she talked until they began slightly slurring together. "If I had been honest back then, it would have been a complete disaster! It's like you said before, 'Just not right now.' And I never understood you before, what you meant, but I do now, but I just don't know how to tell you what I–"

She was cut off in her almost senseless rambling as he walked toward her and placed his hands on her shoulders, saying, "Elena. Slow down. Now what are you talking about?"

His eyes weren't as confused as his words suggested, but they were extremely cautious, as if he dared not believe what he thought she was talking about.

Well then, she'd just have to reassure him.

"I love you," she said, her voice breathless after finally confessing it.

His eyes widened in shock. A few blinks were the only response she got.

"Damon?" she asked, slightly worried. "Did you hear me? I said I _love_ you."

She had thought the moment she told him he would immediately pull her into his arms, or maybe question her words, or possibly just push her up against a wall and not give her the chance to speak for the next week. But not this… nothingness.

"Damon?" she asked again, her voice near a whisper. Was it too late? Had she made him wait too long? Even the possibility that he didn't love her anymore made her heart feel as if it was beginning to crack, tiny fissures moving along the surface. After all this time of him waiting for her, the irony that he didn't love her when she finally wanted him would be overwhelmingly cruel.

"Please," she nearly begged. "Would you just–"

"Say it again."

"What?" Now she was just confused.

"I said," he annunciated slowly, moving his hands up to cup her face, "_say it again_."

Understanding overtook her in an instant, and with a genuine smile, she said, "I love you, Damon Salvatore."

Not a second passed after the last syllable was uttered before his lips were on hers.

She had kissed Damon before. Once when he was drunk, desperately grasping at any sort of hope. Again when he was dying, and she was searching for that same hope. And a third time, on the porch, where they both openly acknowledged what they felt for one another, although not verbally on her part. Desperate, heartbroken, and gentle–all of their previous kisses had been different. This one, she should have known, turned out just as different as the others.

This was all _fire_.

His lips were fierce, demanding, and passionate. She had never been kissed like this before. Stefan had always held back, always been gentle with her–afraid of hurting her. Damon gave her _everything_, and he knew she could take it. She wasn't some fragile little human who would break at the slightest touch. And she proved it by giving back just as good as she got.

After several long moments, or it might have been half an hour–or possibly several sunlit days–they broke apart.

Damon gently laid his forehead on hers, his eyes still closed. She, on the other hand, couldn't stop looking at him. She had never been this close to him before and been able to study him. His creamy skin, sculpted cheekbones, and smooth lips all drew her attention. It was as if he were some Greek god, carved from marble.

His otherworldly blue eyes, her favorite feature on him, were not visible to her. She wondered if they looked the same up close. Were they more intense? Maybe they were a myriad of colors, rather than just the blue she perceived at a distance.

Her musings were interrupted by his soft voice.

"Elena," he nearly whispered, like a prayer he was afraid to speak aloud.

Her smile stretched across her face at the sound of her name on his lips. Surely he had never said it in such a way before, with such adoration and devotion and love. She would have noticed, right?

With a sigh, he pulled away slightly and opened his eyes. Where she expected to see pure bliss, she only saw guarded caution. Her smile slipped away at that look on his face. What could it mean?

"Is something wrong Damon?" She was tempted to remove her hands from around his neck, where they had found themselves somewhere during their kiss. But she didn't want to move away from him, refused to _not _be close to him right now. She couldn't stand the thought.

His gaze calculatingly searched her face before he said, "Do you really want this Elena? You have to mean it. I can't do this if you don't really want it." His voice sounded slightly desperate, like he was forcing himself to say something he needed to say, yet wished he didn't have to.

Is that what his hesitation was all about? He was afraid she would change her mind, regret her decision. She supposed she couldn't blame him, after first Katherine and then her continued rejections. There was only so much hurt a man could take, after all.

Smiling, she moved her hands to cup his face, mirroring his position earlier. "I'm completely sure, Damon. I know we have a lot to talk about, a lot of issues to work through. But I _want this_. I want to be with you. So I'll do whatever it takes, because I love you."

At her words, the smile that broke out across his face was phenomenal, breathtaking. She had never seen such an all-encompassing smile from him before.

Once again, his lips swiftly moved to take hers, the both of them smiling like crazy.

_It can't get better than this._

Whatever it was they needed to talk about could wait until tomorrow. For right now, she just wanted to be with him. Soon they were wrapped up in the other's embrace, so close there was only a breath's space between them.

It was only later–God only knows how much time later–that he spoke.

"Just for the record, I love you too Elena."

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><p><strong>AN:** And there you have it! The new episode comes on in 30 minutes, so now that I've posted this I get to anxiously wait for that. :)

I'd love it if you left a review. What you thought, hated/loved, etc, etc. I always appreciate them.

That's it for today. :)

Toodles,

Jamie

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><p>***"<em>After several long moments, or it might have been half an hour–or possibly several sunlit days–they broke apart.<em>" - Quote taken directly from _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ and is the property of J. K. Rowling.***


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